The effective use of personal energy is something we are never taught when we are growing up, yet it can make all the difference both in our personal success as well as the business success in our life.
Emily, during a recent retreat at Epona Ridge, had an opportunity to work with Cierba who is the beautiful lead mare in our herd. Emily wanted to enjoy her life more and felt that if she could understand why she was running into so many brick walls, both in communication at work and at home with her husband, that she could make things better.
She said she has a highly demanding career and a manager that doesn’t seem to respect her ideas or enthusiasm for her job. In fact it is quite the opposite, she said she feels like she is almost ignored and it was getting more irritating by the day – to the point where she was considering quitting her job.
Emily choose to work with Cierba and walked straight up to her but got an unexpected response. She was pushed out-of-the-way as Cierba rudely walked past.
Emily was not new to horses but this kind of connection/communication/learning was different from anything she had experienced before.
All of her natural training techniques she had known were clearly not working. Emily expected Cierba to respond in a certain way. What she was learning was that horses, given a mutually respectful environment, try to communicate in a two-way conversation. These horses were clearly not “trained to obey”. They were making their own choices, even the choice to be present or not.
Horses provide living biofeedback for us if we are clever enough to see it. In any given situation that we present, the horses respond with the energy appropriate to the presenter. All of this is done without the human ego and emotion since the horses offer a clear energy of reflection.
Emily thought about what her approaching energy might have felt like to Cierba, how even though she thought she was friendly in her approach, she came to her with expectations and in the process she stepped over the signs of Cierba’s boundaries giving Cierba no choice but to move away.
“Oh this is so much like work’, she said out loud. Cierba was twenty feet away from Emily at this point and she just stood there. Emily took a deep cleansing breath. She was thinking about her work environment and how she was getting more and more intolerant. She recalled a recent episode at work where she tried to explain to her boss about something that they were doing and how it wasn’t working. Her boss, like Cierba, dismissed Emily with her energy. Emily, reflecting on some of the lessons she had been learning in the retreat, thought about where her vibration was. She felt the energy of starting off with what was wrong, what wasn’t working and began to understand how that might create bigger boundaries to be raised. Creating that vibration, no matter how enthusiastic you may be about the solution, can close doors.
When Emily approached Cierba with what wasn’t working, she got more of the same response without even realizing how her vibration effected everything. It was a mirror of her work environment all right, but the message was about her own energy.
The most interesting thing happened, after a few moments I noticed Cierba licking a chewing, a sign I always look for because I know it means that something significant has just happened or has been discovered.
Emily shared what she had thought. She said she wondered about how she might change her energy in a way that would be more easily heard and even appreciated. This was the underlying desire to the discomfort she was experiencing. She wanted to be valued for her ideas and effort to help improve the company.
Just as Emily was becoming aware of the deeper message, she shifted from a forward stance to a more relaxed and invitational posture. Cierba softened as well and began to approach Emily from across the arena.
Cierba’s eyes were large and inquisitive this time and her ears were forward and attentive to Emily. She stopped within a foot of her and Cierba dropped her head – Emily reached out and gently touched her.
The vibration in the entire arena seemed to shift.
Learning how to effectively modulate our own non-verbal communication (vibration) helps us find the keys to connecting with mutual awareness and respect, no matter who we are with or where we are in our life process.
Learn more about your personal vibration and the non-verbal energy you are emitting all the time. Gain skills to effectively modulate energy in relationships at home and at work in our upcoming retreat: Your Signature Vibration in March, 2014